My Vietnam Wedding: Honest Commentary From An American Groom

The Reception: Part 2

At this point, we’ve had our celebration at home, have gone through all of the “show” parts of our wedding reception, including speeches, a group toast, fake cake cutting and wine pouring on a pyramid of wine glasses. My wife is now entering the room with me once again, this time with a wardrobe change. I figure now is an excellent time to start eating with my family… except it isn’t. We haven’t said hello and thanked everyone at their tables yet, or gotten a photo with them.
Wait… what?!?
We’ve spent the vast majority of our time standing in place getting photos taken. We’ve said hello, and greeted every person who came to the reception and ceremony, and have had pictures taken with almost all of them, some more than twice already. At this point, I’ve met close to everyone here, have sore feet, and I’m hungry. Now I’m told that, despite every person in the room having already been served a drink, and their first course of the night, I can’t relax and eat yet. Hang will later tell me that it’s completely normal for the bride and groom to not even get any food at their own wedding. They spend the entire time moving around to other people and getting photos taken, (like some sort of family prize that cannot relax)… okay, let’s see where this goes now, because I’m hungry, and I’m not going through my own wedding without eating anything. That’s messed up.
[charliead]
Well, it goes about as expected. Hang and I make our way over to each table, one by one, as I’m reintroduced to everyone at dinner. I’m expected to greet them, and say thank you (using proper address depending on their age and relation to my new family). This time, two photos are taken (again at the same repetitive angles and everything) with each table, so that we can get a photo with both sides. There are now 300 people, and more tables were brought in to accommodate people, even those who weren’t invited. This entire process of taking photos and saying thank you to each table lasts over half an hour, and when it concludes, we’re finally able to sit down at the table with our parents and family, and start eating. At this time, many people are on their third or fourth drink, and the fourth course of the nine-course meal is about to be served. Hang and I sorta missed half of dinner doing the same things we’ve already before: getting pictures taken with groups of people. But now, after all this time… we get to eat.

Our dinner lasted us about 30 minutes total from the time I sat down to the time the last course was served. That means I’ve spent 30 minutes sitting with my family, enjoying dinner and their company.
If my words sound a bit on the annoyed side here, it’s because I sorta was at this point, although I didn’t show it. I hadn’t imagine the Vietnamese wedding being like what I can essentially summarize as a glorified photo-shoot event. Yes, we were treated very well by the people, and we surely do appreciate the gifts. The food was also pretty good… but I really didn’t care for the insane number of repetitive photos that were taken of us over and over again. It simply wasn’t the ‘fun’ that I’ve come to associate with a wedding, even without being the groom. This part just wasn’t fun… and sadly, it still wasn’t over yet.
Once dinner concluded for us, Hang grabbed me up and told me we needed to wait at the door to say goodbye, since people were ready to leave. That means, dinner concludes the entire night. There’s no dancing of any kind, not even slow. I never kiss my bride. There is basically greetings, photos, ceremony, photos, clothing change, photos, dinner, photos, and then goodbyes… followed again by photos. Once we were standing at the door to say goodbye, we were once again posed for more group photos with people (the same groups of the same people, as you can tell). We even stood in the same location as the first time we did this whole deal, with the only difference being Hang’s dress. I’m trying to be as nice as possible about how weddings are done here, because I know ours wasn’t a very typical Vietnam wedding, but our day was basically 80% photo time. 80% standing still doing nothing buy smiling for the flash of a camera.

Yes, I enjoyed the company, and it was wonderful to meet the people I did, but the way the party is organized is just not as fun as it could be. Not as enjoyable as it should be, and unfortunately not as memorable as it needed to be. I will remember everything in great detail, obviously, and overall I would say I’ve had a decent time with my marriage here. However, that being said… if I had to choose a wedding here in comparison to a wedding in America… there isn’t a single element of the Vietnam wedding ceremony or reception that I’d take over the ones in America. It has nothing to do with a language barrier, or the weather, or the venues, or even the company. It has everything to do with the activities that are done during the events. That’s just the way it is.
The night does, of course, end on a great note as the hotel does accommodate the bride and groom with a suite for their wedding: The executive sweet on the 21st floor. The room was very large, and came with a complimentary bottle of wine as well (although we had to ask the desk to bring up the cork, since they didn’t included it).

All of that being said, I’m truly grateful for the wonderful hospitality and spirit of the Vietnamese people during our wedding. They’ve said only good things about us as a family, and have made us all feel exceptionally welcome in their country. They are among some of the most caring, decent, and loving people I’ve met in terms of family life, and they go out of their way every day to bring joy and comfort to others. It has been a pleasure to meet as many people as I did, and I can only hope to one day learn the language well enough to communicate with them more directly and consistently in the years to come.
If you’ve actually made it through this entire bit of commentary, give yourself an amazing pat on the back and accept my sincerest thank you for following along. In just over 4800 words, you’ve filled yourself in with as much details about our wedding as can be learned. As a thank you for those who’ve made it this far, please visit one final page to get a small musical treat from me to you: My mother got up and sang at the wedding in Vietnam: Click to the NEXT PAGE to watch, and thanks for visiting Charlie’s Place. I’ll catch ya next time!

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